


Isn't That Weird?

by Shuichis_Ahoge



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Childhood Friends, Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Doubt, Drama, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Third Person, Promises, Reunions, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26241325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuichis_Ahoge/pseuds/Shuichis_Ahoge
Summary: IM SO SORRY 4 LEAVING THIS HERE !!!stay tuned 4 the next part,,,,,, 💖💖
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	Isn't That Weird?

"Gotcha!" Gon giggled, finally catching up to Killua and being able to manage a small smack on his shoulder. 

"Okay! Fine, you win!" Killua laughed along with him and collapsed to the ground, defeated. Gon stumbled over and lied down next to him, staring up at the sky.

The grass wavered in the wind beside them as their chests heaved, attempting to catch their breath.

"Killua?"

"Yeah?"

They sat in silence for a moment, both waiting for what was to be said next. Gon took a deep breath, the question didn't seem so weighted to them at the time, considering their age.

"Do you think we'll always be friends?"

The question hung in the air for a moment. Looking back it was a lot heavier than they thought back then.

"Of course," He paused, grabbing his life-long friend's hand, "Why wouldn't we be?"

"I dunno."

"You're my only friend, Gon! I would never leave you." 

"Good! I wouldn't leave you either, Killua," He squeezed his friends hand and sat up, crossing his legs. "I'm gonna marry you one day, when we're old enough."

"What're you talking about?" Killua was taken aback by the statement. Every part of it was absolutely absurd. "Marriage is for girls and guys who are dating."

"Nooo, I mean as a friend thing. We don't need girls, and to keep us together, we'll get married!"

"That's bad, though, I thought. Isn't it like... Against the law?"

"What? Who are you?! The Killua I know would break a law before you could blink!"

"Yeah, but like, we're both boys."

"Mm-hmm."

"Isn't that weird?"

"No! Like I said it would be just as friends!"

"That still doesn't sound right... Isn't there some other way? That just sounds embarrassing..."

"Nope! It's final. We're getting married."

"Okay... But can we keep it a secret?"

"Yep! Now, pinkie-promiseee?"

Gon held out his pinkie and Killua sighed, hesitantly crossing their fingers together.

"Pinkie promise."

____________

And that was it. That was the day they signed their lives away to each other, the day they make a promise. At 6 years old they had promised their hand in marriage to one another.

Through all the years, no matter how much they felt they wanted to be in a relationship, the promise remained in the back of their minds.

Neither spoke of it, it was an unyielding and unspoken rule.

As they grew older, the promise seemed to only get dumber. Killua often wondered if Gon even remembered it. Marry each other? As friends? It sounded ridiculous.

Years later, Killua's family had to move away, the reason why was never given to Killua himself, nor any of his siblings. Breaking the news to Gon was awful, a few times he seriously contemplated staying with him, but the consequences he would have to face later stopped him. Gon was the only friend he knew. He never anticipated it to be this hard. 

Even after he'd thought he had gotten over Gon, the thought of him still popped into his mind. Quite often. He couldn't let go of him. 

Most nights he found himself talking to himself, pretending it was him or just laying there reminicising about times they shared together in the past. 

Each night apart made his bed feel lonelier. 

He sighed, snuggling up against one of the pillows that had snuck down to more of an angle by the wall. The closer he nuzzled up to it the more comfortable he was. He soon found himself fully pressed against the wall, leaving room for his arm only to be draped over his abdomen. It felt natural there, almost like it was another person, maybe. 

He took a deep breath and relaxed his mind, his thoughts drifting back to his friend. 

It sure would be nice if he were there right then.

Or if the arm around Killua was his.

The thought sounded strange. He didn't have a clue where it had come from. He'd never thought of Gon like that. 

He was a friend. It's been nothing more for as long as he could remember. 

His smile crossed his mind for the millionth time since he'd last seen him. 

Was it weird to think about him like this?

He was cute. Was it weird for friends to think that about each other?

He sure didn't think it sounded weird. Had Leorio or Kurapika ever called him cute? Probably. 

His mind shifted promptly back to his arm around his waist. In the dark, with his eyes closed, it wasn't too hard to imagine it as a different person. 

There wasn't another person in the world he could think of to do that with than Gon.

Cuddling? With your best friend? That's definitely gotta be weird.

Then, he remembered something with a heartbroken sigh.

He'd never see him again. It didn't matter if he wanted to hold his hand, cuddle with him kiss him, none of that. It wouldn't matter.

Did he want to kiss him?

He rolled his eyes at himself mentally.

Of course he did. He wanted to kiss him. 

He wanted his hand running through his hair.

He wanted his arm around his torso.

He wanted his lips on his own. 

He wanted to be with this boy.

He'd never had a crush before and never thought he would, but here he was. Thinking about kissing his best friend, who lived God knows how far away.

No matter how he felt about him didn't matter. 

They weren't together.

And they won't be.

Ever.

It was a rough thought, but he really believed it was the truth.

He'd never see him.

He'd never tell him how he felt.

He'd never kiss him.

He'd never get his hand in marriage as they promised.

When they made the promise it seemed so simple. It wasn't.

Everything was complicated.

Had Gon ever thought about him like this? Probably not. In fact, he's so socialable he'd probably already replaced Killua. He probably didn't even remember him. How Killua felt did not matter. He wasn't a part of Gon's life anymore. He needed to get over it.

A tear slipped past his eyelid down onto the pillow he'd wished was Gon so badly. That night he seldomly slept.

And he found himself sobbing for the first time in his life.

____________

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO SORRY 4 LEAVING THIS HERE !!!  
> stay tuned 4 the next part,,,,,, 💖💖


End file.
